General Impression: Do you want this poem to be an allegory? I see no mention whatsoever of fracking in the poem itself. The title does mention the term, but a surprising number of readers will skip the title. I found myself craving fracking images woven in with trepanning images. And maybe a little electroshock therapy to boot (explosion used in oil mining, of course)! A very tall order, of course, but you write poetry on a very high level. I don't doubt that this will be a perfect five-star poem when you are finished.
Originality: The rape of Mother Earth is hardly a new theme, but the metaphor you are using here (trepanning = exploratory drilling for petroleum products) is truly amazing. I would like to see it developed a bit more.
Vocabulary: Your words are mostly well-used and precise, but I am confused by stanza 3. Why did you name five brain parts with no further explanation? Why are they in this particular order? Even as biologist I had trouble understanding your reasoning, although I probably could make a few guesses
Form: The three-line stanzas seem to fit for some reason. Perhaps you are suggesting repetitive rhythm of a drill? I think your dry, Dr.Spock-like narration is particularly good. I feel as if this is written by an an alien research team that has abducted and is dissecting a living human.
Imagery: I would like some clearer visual imagery, but you can take that with a grain of salt. Imagist poetry is my favorite kind. The imagery is good in stanzas 2 and 4 but weak in the rest of the poem. This is not to say that I found stanzas 1, 3, and 5 weaker than the others. Stanza 1 is strong and has a good hook to draw the reader in-- the timeless issue of separating soul from body. Stanza 5 is also quite good, and ends the poem with a clear message, at least to me.
Message/Theme: Your overall message is very clear to me. We are willing to extract whatever we find useful from Mother Earth, including her soul. Non-scientists will also probably pick up the meaning, but that's largely due to the title.
A brilliant idea and an ambitious poem, Mike. I look forward to the final version. And welcome to Inkstained!
(Note: 1. You can save the various versions of your poem as revisions. 2. You can agree or disagree with this view but clicking on the up or down arrow).