Ran into issues reviewing Shadowmen: Linebreach - site's misbehaving. Here's my review, in case I lose the data: All in all, a great piece. I got immersed in the setting, the characters, and a tease at the rules of technology and society that drove the plant. I wanted to learn more, which is the best thing I can say. You got my attention. Thanks for that. The idea of programming a crew to solve a problem was especially cool - not to mention buying a team member third-party. At first I was thrown by the long, running sentences of the first section, but they grew on me. I'd suggest starting with a smaller "break-in" sentence, to guide the reader into the pace. It takes a certain trust to travel down long sentences - if this is meant as a first line hook, it may distract. "If you approve, we can but" - can buy? The controller's speech may need a second run for punctuation. I eventually got the gist, but with speech especially, commas and periods at the right point let me simulate. There's some intentional breaks from style in the structure of the piece, but dialogue's a more delicate animal. Experiment with it; I'm not sure of the best balance to strike. Thank you, well done, and keep writing!