I am terrified to know of what lies on the other side. My heart curls and recoils in the pauses between unanswered questions. These defiled images, they flash behind my ...

2
Overall

I love this piece; it's vivid, and if you've ever felt anything like this (who that is introspective can say they haven't?) it brings you right back to that place. Writing should transport us, and you do a great job of it here. I like how your images/sensory additions are consistent; it makes the piece hold together well. The last line was especially well written and moving, in my opinion. Great piece.


We wrote our names in sand and watched as the ocean reached out and gathered our letters in her hand greedily like our dreams were chips we lost whilst betting ...

1
Overall

Lovely imagery! You pack a lot of vision and a strong message into a limited amount of words; bravo! The only thing that bothered me about this a bit is the rhyme of sand/hand; it fits nicely, but it makes the rest of the poem feel a bit disjointed to me. Even adding one more rhyme might have made it seemed more balance. Overall I enjoyed it though!


Overall

I really enjoyed this piece, and especially liked your image here: "hallowed and honed upon the roiling flesh of backs / seared with lashes to ashes, encrusted with disgust " You used some great imagery and the first line was attention grabbing for me; good work!