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To-do list.

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mine would be you

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Sun-Dreams-Dying

Sun-Dreams-Dying

I’m so worn out from walking with the kids along the wharf all afternoon. Legs throbbing, feet beating with my heart. The sun is so bright, its rays lash my corneas like whips.

 

I’m driving through San Francisco. At every intersection I wait behind thrumming exhausts and red brake-lights. My head dips from fatigue.

 

The kids are thirsty, the baby’s crying. Everyone’s sweaty. We’re out of water. My god we’re like sailors lost at urban sea. Sticky tank-tops and dank wind. Fabric seats soak up our exuded liquids.

A grocery!

I u-turn and park. She takes the baby inside. The boys are passed out and sweaty strands of hair cover their faces. I sit in the car and lean against the window. My eyes close.

 

I’m so worn out from walking with the kids along the wharf all afternoon. Legs throbbing, feet beating with my heart. The sun is so bright, its rays lash my corneas like whips.

 

I’m driving through San Francisco. At every intersection I wait behind thrumming exhausts and red brake-lights. My head dips from fatigue.

 

The kids are thirsty, the baby’s crying. Everyone’s sweaty. We’re out of water. My god we’re like sailors lost at urban sea. Sticky tank-tops and dank wind. Fabric seats soak up our exuded liquids.

 

I’m at a light. The engine drones. I look down at my lap. My eyes close, just for a second.

I wake up, I WAS ASLEEP I FELL ASLEEP FUCK I FELL ASLEEP DRIVING OH MY GOD I’M DEAD I’M DEAD.

 

No, I’m alive. I’m parked. I look around. I’m in a parking lot. I’m ok. I’m ok. It’s ok. I grab my chest. I put my face on the wheel.

Dreams, terror,
I dream of life and death,
dying in dreams indistinguishable from life

and waking to living death.

The sun is on my face,
UV rays blocked by glass;


people are stocking up for Pride weekend
and to celebrate DOMA’s demise.

 

I’m dead as well,

in this steel, plastic, aluminum, glass sarcophagus.

The celebrations erupt.

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i get scared when i think of the word "leaving"

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what am I.

I am a piece of the universe

floating about in constant existential crisis.

constantly wondering about EVERTHING

seriously my brain never stops.

I’m a friend, daughter, sister, lover, dreamer, fighter

I am strong. I am powerful.

I know this yet I feel weak.

I have moments of complete sureness and moments of complete doubt

the contrast interlaces till it weaves me together

I am pieces

sometimes whole

altogether lost

yet I am here, therefore somewhere, so in a way, found

one can never be lost if there was no point you were coming from or trying to get to

my eyes are the lens through which my mind sees the universe

I often wonder about the human perspective, how the world looks to other forms of life

things we can’t percieve

I know there will always be mysteries because we literally don’t have the capabilities of understanding. Elements we will never discover. Our human selves don’t have the senses. Things go beyond the basic sight, smell, sound, touch etc.

I’m off on a tangent.

I am merely woven thoughts.

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On Reviewing

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