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Dear Mr

Hello, I hope you are well wherever you are. It is 7:16pm as I write this. I have had the longest day. I woke up at 6:00am, had breakfast at 11:30am and lunch at 3:00pm. I read "Post-Mortem" by Patricia Cornwell. I had spaghetti and eggs for lunch. I know the sight of those two on a plate is like a brother and sister trying to make out- it's just not possible, but I had it anyway.

Do you want to know why?

I will tell you why. It is because I could not write!

Yes, I was to sit down and write something sweet. It was to be some sort of sensible attempt, something better than the last one, but all I could think of was you.

Yes, you sent me a text yesterday at 8:43pm. You said you like me a lot and find me interesting and could not fathom why a beautiful and intelligent lady like me is single.

You know something Mr...words are like stones!

You can throw them at someone and they'll hit them right in the face. Once a stone is thrown you can never take it back- that's what words are.

You can also use them to build- to make the strongest foundation ever!

Imagine all those beautiful stones that still stand today.

But you said somethings and left them to me. You said them like some Scientist in a laboratory mixing chemicals and waiting for the mixture to either foam or turn pink.

I can foam but not turn pink- thank Heavens for that! But, listen here Mr, I did not write because all I could think of was this letter. I want you to call me this time.

I want you to meet me and look me in the eyes and tell me all those things you said. You know it is easy to text and type, but not to express our feelings with our voice. I want to hear you say those things because frankly speaking I would believe you if I heard you say them.

Until then,

Do not ever, ever have spaghetti and eggs without me! I have never enjoyed a dish as that!

Take care,

Me.

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Letter No. 3

I’m not a very religious person. I’m certainly not a Christian person. However, there is in the autobiography of Koheleth, the teacher, a philosophy which I think fitting. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you do. A farewell is not something lightly given, and even less so is that given to a friend. However, I hardly hope this to be a farewell. In a year, much can change, much can be learned and be taught, many can meet and part ways. We’ve had both an hour of play and a year of conversation, and I believe, probably falsely, that I know you. I realize this in itself seems incredibly strange, however, that which is felt is not that which may be known in truth. Truth is not that which is sought, not that which is found, for truth is only known in one’s heart. To know truth, to find in your heart what is or isn’t true, I have found that you must open yourself to true friends and, in your weakest moments, find people who make you laugh and make you happy. In the darkest hours of your life you require nothing but friendship and faith. This year has been one of the hardest years for me, in terms of academics and in terms of emotion. I couldn’t really have done what I’ve done if you hadn’t been there, not really as a force pushing me towards a goal, but as an immovable object, an object that I call friend. I guess, at its essence, this is a thank you, a gratitude that I’m extending to you because, know it or not, you’ve changed me this year. I never would’ve expected myself to, as I did once before, believe in the innate goodness of humanity. Truly, and with all my heart, thank you. For caring enough to be my friend, a commodity which you may consider trivial, but for me is a rarity, a treasure to be appreciated.  

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Letter No. 2

There are a number of things which, given time and patience, you could discover on your own. Things which my father taught me; things I know will benefit you. Truly the most important of these things is, to put it in Latin, tibi scienda essendaque. You must know, and be, yourself. I know this sounds clichéd, and it is, but I’ve seen too many people like you, that is, individuals, consumed by the oneness of this school. Yes, it’s self explanatory. Yes, you’ve heard it thousands of time, and will hear it a thousand more, but it’s not very often that you get a reason why.

Rarely do I meet a girl who goes hunting. Even rarer is a Stratford girl who’ll admit it. It’s one of the most admirable things about you, and one of those things I’m terrified of you losing. I don’t understand hunting and I’m not going to pretend to, but my family is a hunting family. I understand how much it can impact someone, positively or negatively. The point I’m trying to make is, good or bad, you need to let your hobbies and choices take their path. I’ve seen far too many hobbies and idiosyncrasies weeded out of girls and boys so they turn into ‘normal’ people. There’s no such thing as normal. Who do you think is normal? No one in Latin is normal. No one in your grade is normal. Normal isn’t rare, it’s extinct. But to hide what makes you you, to put on a face of normality, that is what everyone should fear.

Being good at something and making good grades aren’t the same thing. You know that, and if not you do now. There are a lot of people in your grade who make very good grades. And then there are smart people. Sometimes these groups overlap, in fact oftentimes they do. But there will always be that stupid honor graduate. There will always be the genius with the 2.5 GPA. I tell you this for a reason, a reason that is very important to me. I don’t really trust people. I feel that people will never understand what I do, and I will never understand them. For you, who I believe has one of the highest potentials in your grade (that wording is really awkward), I truly hope that you will keep your uniqueness, that which makes you you, so that the others, the more timid, more shy, see that to be different is not to be ousted. I trust you to show this school what acceptance is, even if it’s hard.

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time capsule - ii

listen, 

they’re going to tell you that you can’t do it, you won’t survive in the real world, you need to mature and think about a proper career, a way to make your spouse happy. sometimes, they will say if you don’t put an effort in your physical appearance, you’ll never have a spouse. that’s when you’ll remain calm and say, ‘fuck you’ with the warmest smile you can give a disheartener.

you know what you believe in, you know what you’re capable of and even if you don’t, you have the rest of your life to think about it, experiment. it’s never too late for anything and if anyone ever tells you that, just walk away.

negativity helps no one but the person making the negative statements, i think they get a sense of satisfaction when they put someone down (mentally).

don’t give anyone the chance to tell you who you are, what you’re supposed to do and what you’ll be in the future.

no one.

i’m not saying all people are jerks and you shouldn’t take advice from anyone. advice is great, advices guide us, help us make decisions even if we don’t really go for them, they give us options we might have never thought of, new ideas are nice. unless they confuse you more, confusion only makes you human.

inhale,

exhale,

inhale,

exhale..

remember to breathe.

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time capsule - i

listen,

sometimes, your worst days won’t be the ones when you feel sad, depressed, lonely, frustrated or even stressed with all work you need to get done.

your worst days will be the ones you feel numb, emotionless, not alive, still and it will suck. please occupy your mind with things that matter to you, let it pass smoothly or not, just let it pass.

don’t let it get to you, i hope you never feel this way.

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