2 0 2


No matter 
How many battles
Are waged
My heart and mind
No matter
How many
Thoughts are cut short
And feelings felled
Before they're expressed,
There seems to be
No clear winner,
My mind tries tactics
To block my heart's
And my heart 
Strategizes subliminal
Of impulses
One step backward
One step forward
Sometimes sideways
The only one moving
On the dance floor
To an internal song
Of conflict
Love and hate
About what I feel 
For the likes of you
Never ending war...
APAD13 - 079 © okpoet

1 0 1


To whom do we belong
When no one
Makes a claim to our hearts?
To where do our eyes wander
When no one
Haunts our day dreams?
Where do the winds carry
Our voice when we cry out 
In agony
Of want
In misery 
Of need
To love and be loved?
Are our hearts 
Already claimed
From the start of our consciousness?
When our eyes look to the skies
Does it mean
That someone is looking up too?
Hoping we'll cross the same
Shooting star and catch a ride
To the same point in space
Where we'll finally meet
And fall into an endless embrace;
Forgetting the torment 
Of all the past years
The torture of the slow days
The anguish of all
The lonely nights,
Hopefully making it all worth it...
APAD13 -080 © okpoet

1 0 1


I'd call you a fool
And you'd call me a tool,
If after years we cannot 
Believe each other
That we'll never walk away
Too many opportunities
Come and gone
To make like 
Trees and leave
And trail behind
Only the dead
And withered dreams,
But I'm a dog for you
Loyal until my end
Whether you 
Want to lead me there
By my side
I'm always going to be here
Wherever that may be
Because without you
I'm nowhere
Just somewhere
On the same planet
And I can't get away
Far enough
Like to another constellation
To make running away
Seem worth it,
So here I lie
Wagging my heart 
Upon the cold ground
I hope you'll walk upon
One day back to me...
APAD13 - 081 © okpoet

5 0 5


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2 0 2

Que Sera Sera

We put all of our love
into each grain of sand
to shape our future
into something grand

The ocean will wash
our efforts out to sea,
so we say to ourselves,
“What will be, will be.”

1 0 1


When she rushes
Into you
Like a crashing wave
Like a gust of wind
Like a summer's day breeze
Like a happy pup,
This is her love
Washing over you
Drowning you
Embracing you
Adoring you,
Her arms
Her smile
Her laughter
Her joy
Of her heart
Her mind blinded
At the sight of you,
All for you
Whether friend
Or lover,
Don't ever;
Never ever let go...
APAD13 - 083 © okpoet

0 0 0


I walk on by
Because I
Cannot fly,
Wonder if
Anyone saw
What I see,
Every time
From the corner
Of my eye,
Like a painting
Come alive,
Still hearts
Cannot stay
Still, beating
Flow will 
At the sight
Under that 
Window light,
Such is
My plight,
Cannot stop
To admire,
This image
That starts
The fire,
In my pulse,
But no one
Can hold
Me back,
From walking
On by,
And again...
APAD13 - 084 © okpoet

1 0 1

The Bluebells

There are so many beautifully telling things I’m sure you never noticed,
And probably more still unnoticed by me about us.
For instance, you used to tell me bluebells were your favorite flower
And that you wanted a tattoo with one on your ribs
You were much like that flower
Wild and free
With the kind of eyes that begged to be kissed in the rain
I just remember they were so blue.
Do you remember after I planned that picnic?
Some sort of last ditch romantic gesture to make you smile
The kind of gesture I’ve grown unaccustomed to
I left a note by your door and I’m sure you found it cute,
If annoying.
Still a few weeks later we were over, but you asked to come over
I was beyond stoned and tried to seem disinterested
I was still so sore; still too bruised.
I never found out why you were there, but you did look at my closet
You loved all of my winter clothes and seemed surprised
Even when I told you I’m at my best in winter.
I have to admit I felt like Gatsby
Except less hopeful and slightly angry
It’s funny.
I should have known.
You used to tell me to masturbate
Because you were too tired to attend to me
But made me so horny, and
I had a chance to fuck you once
But since I had recently lost my virginity
Somewhat unbeknownst to me
I knew I should ask you again.
When you said no I realized,
I’d done the right thing;
But you were never mine.
At that picnic you gave me a book for my birthday
Because I’d gotten you a gift for your birthday before we were over
Which if I recall correctly was October 15
(Don’t get too excited it’s the month of my dad’s and day of my brother’s.)
It was a book called Mind Games
An apt title for a book from you
You said it looked like the kind of book I would like
Full of interesting facts about psychology
I saw the same book at Barnes and Nobles the next day
On the bargain table 40% off
And figured that was where you got it.
Or the time when you put on “Dramamine” at that party
I hadn’t said a word to you and stayed outside
I may have read into it, but I felt like
You played that song in some hope that I’d come.
I almost did,
But I couldn’t leave my fragile doll.
And what about the poem I wrote you
About how I missed your body,
Porcelain skin next to mine,
It was cheesy and I thought you hated it,
But after a year you said your dad found it,
And I just said
“Ha you kept that faggy poem.”
When I really meant
“It means a lot that you kept my shitty poem.”
I felt so bad that I texted you one day saying I was sorry.
You never replied; I still feel bad.
Every time I hear “Kids”
I think about the first time when we were alone
And you played it on your wooden flute
While we smoked your dad’s weed.
Did you know there’s only one photo of us?
It’s from the night I came back from the beach
And I went to the party with you and Heather
It’s blurry and you untagged yourself or you never were
It’s saved to my computer.
(Don’t get too flattered though, all of my Facebook pictures are.)
It’s funny you can still see us
Focused on each other if only for an instant.
I’d love to tell you about this poem right now
But you’d likely find it creepy
Even though you’d probably like the structure
And hopefully the memories.
Still it embarrasses me that I write about you at all
But you were always good material.
You know this was supposed to be a haiku.
I think I felt closest to you
When you were telling me about that one prick
Who showed you bluebells online
Outside in the Horseshoe
While we smoked a cigarette
But I tried to tell you of the others before you
And you couldn't relate.
You asked me to make you a CD when we met
And I put “Your Ex-Lover Is Dead”
I used to think it was foreshadowing
But obviously I have something to say
However, I’m still not sorry.
You asked me to make you another after
I remember I tried my best to make sure the songs flowed into each other seamlessly
It must have taken hours
There were a few songs that reminded me of you
And if you checked the notes you’d see a secret track list
For a mini-mix “Nobody’s looking for a puppeteer”
A quote from “Being John Malevich”
A movie we watched after you played that flute
The first time we kissed.
I kept trying to give it to you
But you never seemed to really want it
I kept it in my book bag for almost 2 years
Until I gave it to some random kid in a computer class.  
You know when I gave you your present.
I knew that those seeds would go unplanted.
You loved the flower.
But I know you.
And I couldn't be the one to give you bluebells.

1 0 1


I see her
Day in day out;
Is it her?
I pause in doubt,
Glimmer in her eyes
Reflection of the skies,
I'm entranced;
Truly it is her but enhanced,
More than 1080p, HD, up scaling
More than 3D any and all resolution failing;
To define what she evokes
Try to sum up what she provokes,
Watching her but for a minute
Wish this moment you could pin it;
On a wall poster; blow it up
Billboard on the freeway at sun up,
Share what I see 
With the world; none will be free;
Burn her image into their eyes tinged
Like tattoos on the skin singed,
Permanent scenic view
Fresh like the morning's dew,
I breath in deep
As if ready to leap;
I'll try to walk away
From her beauty highlight of this day...
APAD13 - 085 © okpoet

2 0 2


She doesn't have
The most melodious voice
But to me no sound
Could be sweeter,
If I listen too long
She's like a Q-tip 
Plunged deep 
But painless
Into my mind
Making all my receptors
Light up 
Like Christmas
Yet it's almost summer
Adding to the warmth
Through me
Her voice 
Like wool
Wrapping me
In tender
Loving words
Even if 
All we talk about 
Is the weather
Oh that she were
The little voice 
In my head,
I'd never again listen
To another word
From anyone else...
APAD13 - 086 © okpoet