1
1 0 1

Eight...

Eight letters
I like you
Eight letters
I need you
Eight letters
I want you,
Eight letters
You suck
Eight letters
F#ck off!
Eight letters
I hate you,
Eight letters
I'm sorry
Eight letters
Come back
Eight letters
I'm alone
Eight letters
I miss you
Eight letters 
I love you...
APAD13 - 049

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Leaving

Her shoes rest by the door, waiting for her to silently slip her feet into them. The floorboards creak as she slides out of the bed, looking over her shoulder at his sleeping frame. He looks so peaceful, but she can’t stay any longer than she has. 
She tiptoes past the records hanging on the walls, and shuts the bathroom door before turning on the light. 
In expo marker on the mirror, she writes him a message: “I’ll give you all my time, but not my love. I’m going to miss you when I’m gone. I hope you’ll miss me too.”
She throws her hair up into a bun, and turns the light off. 
The door hinges squeak slightly when she opens the door, but she can see him still sleeping in the dim light. 
She goes into his room, and picks up a tee shirt- his, one of his band tees- and walks to the door. 
She pauses, and surveys the scene behind her. The small kitchen sink with her cup still in it from the day before, the couch sitting in front of a tv, next to the door leading to the balcony, and beyond that, the sun slowly rising over the city. 
She sighs, and slips her feet into the waiting shoes. 
“Goodbye.” She whispers to the apartment, and the sleeping form one room over. 
She unlocks the door, takes one last, longing glance, and shuts it behind her.
The elevator seems to take forever to arrive, and each moment she is anticipating being caught. 
The doors open on the bottom floor, and she jogs outside the building and around the corner.
She sits down under the street light, and calls a cab.
“What’s a beautiful girl like you doing at this time of morning, alone?” The cabbie asks when she gets in. 
“Leaving.” She replies.
“The airport it is.”
The drive is agony, the lines inside the terminal worse, and when she finally steps foot on the plane, there is a hole in her heart that only time can repair.

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What a heart knows.

And so the story goes.
And so the days move on.
Another notch this heart knows.
Older, wiser, same old song.

Life throws its sticks.
Life throws its stones.
This heart's been kicked,
but this soul knows home.

The smile will not fade.
The eyes will still shine bright.
For love is not a grade,
to be measured as wrong or right.

The living risk the loving,
and the living I have done.
Moving on is one's own choosing.
Wallow in pity, or walk in the sun. 

And so this story goes.
Far from being done.
When love is what a heart knows.
It's the only song that can be sung. 

0
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There is a film 
on continuous replay 
where I see you sleeping 

I cry 
frozen by too many choices 
barricaded behind 
a concrete wall 
of too many emotions 
feeling wrong 
but 
oh so right 
threading awareness 
fleeting time 
cancered chances 

There is a film on 
continuous replay 
where I see you sleeping 

I cry

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Replenished...

How many stars
Will die
How many 
Will be born
Until I see you again?
How many tides
Will come and go
How many lakes
Will dry
Until we come together?
How many songs
Will play,
How many 
New will be written
Before we laugh again?
How many breaths
Will I take
How many 
Heart beats
Will pulse through me
Before I come apart
Ligaments and tendons
Undone like Lego's
That won't snap 
Into shapes again,
Until I see
The laughter of your eyes
Shine into my soul; then replenished...
APAD13 - 072

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3 0 3

I tell everyone......

 

I tell everyone about you

 

I tell them of the sunlight in your smile, the ocean in your eyes. I tell

them how my love for you is a mountain. Unshakeable. I tell them how you loved

me once but like the forest you grew too fast and i was lost in the undergrowth

as you reached for the heavens.

 

I try to explain that my love for you is not destructive and though one sided as it

is, you make me well. My failings diminish and I feel almost worthy of attention

but there is only one who's attention I seek to hold. But you look to the sea shore as I

float to snow covered peaks, my soul; no longer burdened by twenty-one grams is

carried to heights by a dreamers dream of lightning dancing with water. I try to

explain that my love for you is not destructive

 

I tell them how I love you and now they don't call me anymore because they

cannot understand how I speak of love and it tastes like pain. They cannot

understand the chaos of longing unreturned tattooed across my brow even as your

name stains my lips with joy as it spills forth

 

I try to explain with a smile but the tears fall. I smile and cry all at once

and my voice fails me for your residue in my soul lifts me to such heights that

I cannot breathe. The boundaries of the sky are not for the living so I am torn

back to the dust and mud by the gravity of your face turning away from mine,

crashing down with anchors around my waist sculpted by words said in haste only to

be reworked and shaped for another. Words hung in both our galleries but I know

the form and flow, it is not a new piece He holds but one stolen from the walls

in me and replaced with counterfeit nothings. Watermarks cannot be reproduced

and those that stain my face are far from dry.

 

Does He know that those words painted on his chest are mine? That the art

staining his flesh is an echo of the masterpiece that you sketched across my

bones? They are watercolors that leak from my broken eyes, I am losing you one

drop at a time but you are an ocean and I will shed floods of you and still

drown each morning

 

Some have said move on, some say get over it.

 

But there is nowhere to move on the mountains peak, how can I get over you

when you are Everest? I am standing on top of the world and there is but one

place higher, though I am not Icarus. You know, it takes forty two and a half

seconds to fall from the roof of the world. Thats seventy three i love you's and damn it if i

dont say them every time...

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1 0 1

Heading on Down

Found love hanging in the falling rain
Found luck trampled by the golden way
Heading on the down road
Heading on down

Caught up believing I’d be old and grey
Held out till it was all in vain
Heading on the down road
Heading on down

Looked up, finally saw the sun again
Slowed up, remembering the beauty then
Heading on the down road
Heading on down

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Tell me dearest flower,
What is it like to be you?
Such grace and beauty
Come from simply
The movement of your lips
And the chiming
Of your soft words.
Your skin is ivory;
Porcelain beneath my fingers.

My love,
One such as I
Is not worthy
Of one such as you
My words are harsh
And ill contempt,
My hands leave bruises
Upon your petal cheeks.
I mean you no harm
But a flower
Can only be held
Within ones grasp
For so long
Before it starts to wilt.

Though harsh I am-
Soft are your caresses
And dulcet are your words;
None may compare to you.

So clear are your eyes;
As blue as the morning skies
Reflected in the raging seas
Of my love for you.

Though we are lovers,
Our time together will end
With you wilted and lifeless
Within my constricting grasp.
I should have never picked you
My dear,

For if I’d left you to grow,
You would have flourished
Beneath the shimmering sun
(Instead of dying within my shadows)
And would have returned
To flourish forever more
In the years to pass.
Forgive me my love,
For being your end.

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Leave...

I'd call you a fool
And you'd call me a tool,
If after years we cannot 
Believe each other
That we'll never walk away
Too many opportunities
Come and gone
To make like 
Trees and leave
And trail behind
Only the dead
Thoughts
And withered dreams,
But I'm a dog for you
Loyal until my end
Whether you 
Want to lead me there
By my side
I'm always going to be here
Wherever that may be
Because without you
I'm nowhere
Just somewhere
On the same planet
And I can't get away
Far enough
Like to another constellation
To make running away
Seem worth it,
So here I lie
Wagging my heart 
Upon the cold ground
I hope you'll walk upon
One day back to me...
APAD13 - 081 © okpoet

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0 0 0

Lover Mine; No. 1

If you speak to me,

Please understand this:

 

You have no right to know who I am. 

Anything you have to say to me is

Meant for a girl you once knew.

I am not her.

 

I am not the ashes, heap of ashes,

You left in your wake. I am not 

The tears you once wiped from my eyes,

I am not the ones you once cried.

 

I am not the one who made you 

What you are. I am not the fire

At your tongue. I am not the trophy

You once won. 

 

I am not the pretty broken thing,

Busted bird with a busted wing,

I am not the one who held the

Words you said. I did not share your bed.

 

I am not your veiled, weeping sun, and I

Am not your laughing half-moon. Yes,

We're gone. We ended too soon, but frankly

I'm not here to swoon over you. 

 

I am not your lover, though I loved you so,

I am the winter and I am the snow,

Beautiful and cold, I am the place you're still

Stuck; intrepid soles sinking into mud.

 

You may have killed me, lover mine,

But I stand here breathing, one of a kind,

And, darling, I'm back for your blood.