0
2 0 2

mist

the misty day seems brighter now

and the air smells freshly cleaned

dew drops cling to blades of grass

i hear robins singing somewhere 

*

but all is not as it appears 

there's an ominous void over 

my left shoulder - i no longer hear

your voice or your shuffling 

*

before the morning's brew kicks in

and the bacon's smell wafts through;

i know we vowed to eat better 

but some things you can't eschew

*

we left most crap behind, but some seeps in

anyway, who said a plane was the only way to fly

remember when we took a trip in our back yard

boy, we never laughed so hard

*

and God forbade the junk we ate, when we 

raided our stash behind the shuttered gate

and listened to our favorite songs that

the neighbors kids would clown around to

*

dancing along, mocking us in our embrace

on songs that slowed for us to sway to   

never any doubt where we belonged

memories kept gloom at bay, then

*

when we would wonder just how long

we would carry on, silly cads

who knew that memories never fade 

but remain in mind after you've passed 

*

the visions too, as i immobly rest

as though i can still see you standing there

i'm praying now for your fog to lift 

for your light to shine through the mist

*

yours is the task to make amends

for fate's deprivation of your truest

friend to the end, now that it's ended

when you're left with only wisps 

*

of how we blended in so many ways

oh how those thoughts may sustain  

as you carry on, but not alone 

there are worthy others who'll share

*

they certainly can feel your value

and will find, as did i, the treasure

awaiting them in your hearth;

so I'll quit my rambling and

*

allow you to re-attend to things 

your bacon is burning now, i'm 

grateful to have shared a thought, yet

you're lying oh so still in your tub's space

*

dwelling on me in a blissful rest 

in my own cozy, peaceful place.

*

7/3

1
0 0 0

Comatose...

I gave her
My mind
To fill
I gave her
My heart
To drain,
I gave her
My love
To take take take,
And she took took took,
It was an
All she could take
Buffet
And I let her
As I gave gave gave
Never questioning
Never expecting
Never tabulating
A bill,
Even if she'll never
Ask for the check,
I'll never kick her out
I'll let her
Have her fill
Over and over
Maybe maybe
She'll find it all
Too delicious
And she'll sit there
Comatose
Never finishing her dessert
And she'll never walk out...
APAD13 - 066

0
1 0 1

Reasons for my love

I love the way she wears the sun

In her hair; and the way the rain

Beads on her delicate shoulders;

I love when her eyelids flutter

In early morning springtime breeze;

I love the way she pouts and sulks

When things don’t seem to go her way;

I love it when she feigns anger

That’s soon betrayed by a smile;

I love the look of guiltiness

On her face after we make love;

I love her child-like naiveté;

Her occasional whininess

And vagaries that define her.

0
0 0 0

Undercover...

I was just
Passing through
I thought I'd
Order something 
Off the neon lit menu,
When I heard an angel
With a little static 
In her heavenly voice,
What would you like
To order today?
An order of wings please
So I can fly away with you,
Sorry we don't have wings,
Oh but you do don't you? 
Fine I guess I'll have a burrito
And an icy drink to cool me down
Is your order correct on the screen?
Yes it is! I yell already moving ahead
I almost grind gears I'm nervous,
As I get to the window and I close my eyes
I listen for the sliding glass and I feel the air
Like the pearly gates opening with a whoosh
And I gaze up into heaven and there she is
With her halo and a smile ever so bright,
She gives me the total and I hand her my card
And our fingertips touch and we both blush,
She's gorgeous and I don't hesitate to tell her so; 
Even in uniform she looks beautiful undercover, 
I have an appetite for two but I really would like
To share a meal and time with you, when is your shift over?
APAD13 - 042

0
0 0 0

Moving Day

To the last boy I kissed,

this is a poem, and this part of it is yours.

I am sorry that I couldn’t stay. I 

am sorry that I made you think I could.

Your lips were dynamite. Your lips 

were hot dusty embers. Your

lips made me go insane.

I loved you like I love the boy I took to prom,

and I’m sorry because you loved me

like he loves the boy he is taking

to his prom.

I thought maybe you could save me-

from the bridge, or the bottle of pills

in the cabinet, or even just the way

I need to curl up and cry every

so often.

I thought you were the dashing hero but you

were the one who loved more and

I was scared and you offered no

solace.

You are still the last boy I kissed. Your

taste is on my lips. Your text is on

my phone. I don’t delete my messages.

You are still the last boy I kissed. You will

never be the last boy I kiss. 

Move on. I can’t save you. You can’t save me.

The moon is beautiful tonight. Move on.

The ocean is the same here as there. Move on.

There are other girls who will love you more. Move on.

I will be here. You will be there. It has been time

for a long time for you to pick yourself up and move on.

0
1 0 1

empty night

He called me the empty night-
city glow for a starless sky
with all the stillness of a countryside.
Insults and compliments are interchangeable.
Revel in the emptiness of graceful prose,
my dear,
you cannot stand when the water
pulls the sand from under your feet.
Tomorrow is a long time,
but the night,
for now,
is endless.
Do not suppress the wilderland sky;
celestial intervention will splay nebulae across the expanse
and the crickets will screech in protest-
an empty night misnamed,
ill-assessed. 
A solitary figure in the night
is no figure at all,
just a landscape of black. 

0
0 0 0

Lost Prayers

            She kicked the door open when no one answered, breaking the flimsy lock in the knob on the third try. “Jesus, help me,” she muttered irritably, crossing herself as she entered the dark house. It reeked of body odor, stale booze and sex as she stepped over passed out bodies, looking for a hulking figure. She found him one of the bedrooms, sitting up in a corner as he always did, eyes bleary and red in the light that shone on them from the open door.

            “Hey,” he said. He pocketed the phone, missing the first try and started to push himself off the floor. She took one of his wrists in her little hand and pulled. Once on his feet, her head didn’t reach his shoulder and yet she supported his weight as she helped him out of the house. Whiskey, she thought, his breath hot on her face. He closed his eyes against the daylight and together they limped to her car, got in and drove away.

 

            It wasn’t the first time she’d picked him up like this. It wasn’t the second or third or tenth. She had stopped keeping track. His head against the window, she thought he had fallen asleep, like he usually did. She usually drove to his apartment, he would mutter a thanks and he would leave. She wouldn’t see him again for weeks, sometimes a few months at a time. He broke the cycle.

            “Why do you always come?” he asked. It was always a text at five in the morning, asking for help, not sure where he was. She knew all the usual places to look, the bars and the houses and hotels. She got word from around town where the drinks would be, and there she would find him when he needed her.

            “I don’t know,” she said. She didn’t have to look at him to know there were tears streaking down his cheeks now and then; she could hear it in his voice. “Someone has to,” she said. He shook his head.

            “You don’t have to.”

            “Would anyone else?” He swallowed, cleared his throat.

            “No.” She knew it was the alcohol he went for. She’d never found him with another woman, no matter how drunk he was. He knew no simple sex would replace her, would drive her from his memory. He didn’t think he was capable of it, even if he could convince himself to try. He drank because sometimes, sometimes he could forget her. He knew a hundred others like him, trying to drink away a woman. He was not special or deserving of sympathy and he never believed otherwise. But this had gone on too long now. He wasn’t the suicidal type. He just knew it was time to end this cycle.

            “I just want to know why you still come.”

            “Can we not talk?” she asked. He smiled.

            “I just want to know this one last thing.” Last? What did he mean? Suicide didn’t enter her mind; she knew he was too stubborn for that. She shook her head. She pulled up alongside the curb in front of his apartment and put the car in park, not taking her hand off the wheel. He looked over at her from the window and a spark of light around her neck caught his attention. He reached for it.

            “Stop it!” she snapped, slapping his hand away, not looking at him. She glared out the window, her chest heaving under the cardigan she wore, heart hammering with both fear and confusion. He looked away, ashamed.

 

            “I wasn’t trying anything,” he said weakly, and he truly wasn’t. “I just never seen you wear a necklace before. Wondered what it was,” he said. He opened the door, and got quickly out of her car. “Thanks again,” he said and closed it, hurrying into the apartment, not looking back. Up the stairs two at a time, trying to hold himself together, he unlocked the door with fumbling fingers, opened the door and slammed it shut. He turned and engaged the deadbolt, collapsing against the smooth surface as he did, sliding down it until he was on his knees, head in hands, the tears flowing between his fingers, his powerful shoulders shaking as he cried, praying for her forgiveness, because even God didn’t forgive men like him.

 

            She sat there in the street even as he cried, tears streaming down her own cheeks. Her fingers gripped what hung at the end of the chain she wore. Bent over the steering wheel, she pressed the wedding ring he had given her to her chest and prayed, though she didn’t know what to pray for.

0
0 0 0

I dare you to love me : chapter 1

Hailey walked out of the hospital with relieve, everything had looked okay on the MRI her doctor, Mrs. Miller had made.

Doctor Miller was a neurosurgeon, one of the best from the country and certainly the best in a wide area around Flinville, the little village Hailey lived in.

Hailey’s brain tumor hadn’t grown any bigger, it was a small tumor and it was harmless, as far that you can call a brain tumor harmless.

It had been bigger three years ago, when they found out she had a brain tumor. Back then it was the size of a golf ball, the only positive thing about the tumor was that it wasn’t virulent.

Three years ago, when Hailey was thirteen, she started to feel very tired all the time, she couldn’t concentrate on things anymore, she felt sick regularly and suffered from a headache that wouldn’t disappear.

Her parents started to worry and took her to the hospital, but with the first exams the doctors did on Hailey they couldn’t find anything strange and they said it would blow over itself after a while.

But it didn’t, Hailey’s headache got worse, she slept the most of the day because she was too tired to do anything and she lost her appetite.

Her parent concern grew with the minute Hailey got sicker. When she started to do epileptic attacks, her parents took her to the hospital again and didn’t leave until the doctors found something.

Finally they found Hailey’s brain tumor, which was the size of a golf ball by that time and they got referred to doctor Miller, who knew Hailey’s case was serious immediately. 

 Doctor Miller had operated her, she was able to remove the biggest part of the brain tumor but a little piece remained in Hailey’s head. Doctor Miller couldn’t reach it without damaging Hailey’s brain, a risk she’d rather not take.

Now Hailey had to do check-ups on a regular base to make sure the brain tumor didn’t grow larger anymore and it didn’t, everything was fine.

‘ What did the doctor say?’ Her mother asked concerned when Hailey stepped into the car. ‘ Was everything ok?’

‘ Everything was fine mom.’ Hailey replied smiling. ‘ My tumor didn’t grow, it’s still the same size, nothing to worry about.’

‘ When do you have your next check-up?’ Her mother asked while she drove off the parking lot from the hospital. 

‘ In six months.’ Hailey answered while she putted her brown hair back up in ponytail, it had to be lose for the MRI but she didn’t like it when her hair wasn’t tied up, it always got in her way.

‘ Six months?’ Her mother asked confused. ‘ Isn’t that a long time between check-ups?  I mean, normally you get check- ups every three months.’

‘ Doctor Miller said that it wasn’t necessary that often anymore, mom.’ Hailey answered while her green eyes studied her mother’s face. ‘ She said that a check-up in six months would be there soon enough.’

‘ If she said so.’ Her mother sighed, focusing on the road again.

Hailey stared out of the window, trying to hide the little smile on her face from her mother, she would ask what was so funny if she saw it.

What was funny, was that her mother was concerned, Hailey knew she was and didn’t want her to come with her into the hospital.

Instead she send her mother for groceries, giving her mom something to do while she  was having her MRI and making sure her mom couldn’t interfere when doctor Miller would increase the time between check-ups.

Hailey was sure that her mother would have convinced doctor Miller to keep the check-ups every three months.

She hated those check-ups, she knew they were necessary  for her own health and she understood why her mother was this worried about her, but still she hated it.

It had been this way for three years, the check-ups frightened her. What if the tumor had grown bigger? Would she have to go through surgery again? And what after surgery, when she had to recover?

Her brain tumor was found right before summer break started, she had the surgery under summer break and was recovered by the time school started again. She didn’t miss anything and went to her freshmen year of high school.

But what if her tumor would grow and she had to have surgery in the middle of the school year? She would have to repeat her junior year because she simply would miss too much.

She was afraid every time she had to go to the hospital and every time she had been relieved when she came back out.

For her, having to go less was having to worry less.

‘ I’m going to call your dad first.’ Her mother said when they walked into their house. ‘ After that I’ll start with cooking diner.’

They lived in a nice neighborhood and their house fitted right in it. Warm and intimate, that’s how Hailey always described it and almost everyone who visited them thought the same.

‘ Fine mom, I’m going to my room to study.’ Hailey replied. ‘ We are having a biology test tomorrow.’

‘ Sure honey, I’ll call you when diner’s ready.’ Her mom said, already dialing her husband’s number.

Hailey smiled and walked upstairs to her room, letting her mom call her dad, like she always did when they came back from a check-up.

Hailey’s dad worked much, he wasn’t home very often, the only time Hailey had seen him home all the time was when she had her surgery and she was recovering.

After she recovered her dad picked up his old habits and started to work a lot  again.

Although Hailey’s dad wasn’t around much, she still loved him, he was a strict man, but he was also a fair man.

He expected Hailey to study hard and have good grades but he didn’t force her into things she didn’t want to do, she always got a choice.

When Hailey got into her room she sat down on the bed and opened her  laptop, she told the truth when she said she was going to study, but first she wanted to find her best friend Brooke on line to tell her about the check-up.

 

 

 

Tyler made his way through the trees and bushes, which gave him multiple scratches on his arms and legs, but he didn’t care, the place he was going was worth the scratches.

Besides, as first quarterback and captain of the football team from Flinville’s high school he could bare a lot more than a few scratches.

He arrived at a fence, which he checked for electricity, it was supposed to be electrified but most of the time it wasn’t, just like it wasn’t that day.

Tyler climbed over the fence in less than a minute, he was used to it, he did it all the time and continued his way through more trees and bushes.

He let his backpack slide of off his back when he arrived on an open spot in front of a lake, it was a beautiful place to be and a soothing place as well.

Tyler was the only one who knew it was there, he never told anyone about it, this was something of himself.

He could see people across the lake, there was a small beach, a public beach where kids from his high school liked to go.

Tyler sat down on the ground and took his biology book out of his backpack, he had a test tomorrow and he needed to pass this test, he already was behind when it came to biology.

He followed biology with the juniors, he didn’t pass his exam last year and now he was stuck in biology for juniors.

The rest of his classes he past, not with high grades but he past them and now he was in his senior year of high school.

He was a smart kid and that was his luck, if he hadn’t had the brains that he had, he would have failed all his classes in junior year.

The reason that he didn’t do well in school was because his mom died last year after she fought cancer.

His mom fought the disease for two years, at first his father took care of her, giving Tyler the chance to study.

Tyler did have good grades, but when his mom’s health got worse and his dad started drinking, he had to take care of his mother, giving him less time to study and his grades went down.

After his mother died Tyler had been very sad, he still was sad and he missed her a lot, they were close and he could tell her everything. She was the one that showed him this place, it was his and his mothers, he could feel that she was with him there somehow.

After a half hour he closed his book again with a big sigh, he couldn’t focus on this, he should have been home by now, making diner for his dad, cleaning up the house.

His father even started drinking more after Tyler’s mother died, he was an alcoholic and Tyler had to take care of him most of the time. One of the other reasons his grades stayed low.

Tyler putted his biology book back into his backpack and ran home, hoping his father wasn’t home from the pub yet.

When he opened the front door the smell of arid beer crawled into his nose, but his father wasn’t home yet, although Tyler knew it wouldn’t take long before he would stumble in, drunk and demanding diner.

Tyler walked into the kitchen, where he dropped his backpack on the ground and started to clean up the empty beer cans before he searched for food in the fridge.

The only thing they had left was a pack of microwave macaroni and cheese. He had to go shopping tomorrow, he couldn’t forget.

If there was no food in the house, his father would go crazy and use his fist if he was drunk enough.

Tyler’s dad always found a reason to beat his son when he was drunk, he was smart though, he never beat Tyler in the face or on the arms, always somewhere people couldn’t see the bruises. 

Tyler took the macaroni with cheese out of the fridge and putted it into the microwave, right in time, his dad just stumbled into the house, drunk as always.

‘ What’s for dinner boy?’ Tyler’s dad asked with a double tongue, while he sat down on one of the void kitchen chairs.

Tyler could smell the beer his father had been drinking and he could tell it was a lot.

‘ Macaroni and cheese, dad.’ Tyler replied while he started the microwave. ‘ I’m sorry, I’m going to get groceries tomorrow.’

His dad looked at him, he could smell that Tyler was scared of him and dominant that he was, he liked it.

Tyler didn’t dare to look his father in the eye, it where the same eyes he had, oceanic blue ones, he got them from his father.

His hair, black and messy, he had from his mother and the combination of the two made him a girl magnet.

‘ You know I don’t like macaroni and cheese, boy.’ Tyler’s dad said while he stood up from his chair and walked towards his son. ‘ Why didn’t you do groceries after school? You had the time then, didn’t you?’

‘ I had to study for a biology test we are having tomorrow.’ Tyler mumbled, looking for a way out.

He knew his father was getting mad and he knew what was going to follow but he was stuck between the counter and his father, there was no escaping possible.

‘ I don’t care if you have a test tomorrow!’ His father snarled, kicking Tyler in the stomach, which made him collapse onto the ground. ‘ You are lucky that you have the possibility to go to school! You can learn there, here you have to do the household!’

‘ Maybe if you would stop drinking and help me out in here a little I would get better grades!’ Tyler snarled back.

He shouldn’t have done that, it only pissed his father off more and he got kicked into his stomach, what made him gasp for air.

‘ I’m going back to the pub.’ His father snarled. ‘ Maybe I can get some food there. I certainly don’t have to see my failure of a son there.’

After that he turned around and walked out of the house, Tyler heard how he drove the car of off the driveway.

When he was sure his father was gone, Tyler crawled back up from the ground, checking the damage his father had made.

There were going to be bruises, he felt it, his stomach hurt, his muscles would ache for a few days, but it wasn’t that bad, his father had beaten him worse before.

The alarm clock from the microwave started buzzing and Tyler took the macaroni and cheese out of it.

He sat down at the kitchen table and started eating his diner alone, in pure silence and with the pain his father had given him.

The bruises would fade away and after a few days they wouldn’t hurt this bad anymore, but the scar that his dad had left by calling him a failure would hurt a lot longer.

 

 

‘ Silence, please.’ Mister Conrad ordered his class.

The juniors that followed biology in his class started talking after the test was over, his lesson was almost over and it was almost weekend for them, nevertheless mister Conrad wanted them to be quite.

The voices in the class silenced, he had their attention now but he would have to be fast, the bell would ring in ten minutes.

‘ I’m going to give you a project, which you have to do with a partner.’ Mister Conrad announced. ‘ You will get two weeks to finish this project and you’ll have the choice what it’s about.’

The students in his class started talking again, already pairing themselves up, but mister Conrad had other plans and he ordered them to silence again.

‘ You can choose what your project is about, it only has to be about something that we learned this year.’ Mister Conrad continued when his class was silent again. ‘ And I am pairing you up.’

The students sighed out of disappointment, they already where pairing up with their friends, but mister Conrad spoiled it.

‘ I will pair all of you up with the help of name cards that are in this box.’ Mister Conrad said while he showed his class a plastic box that was filled with little pieces of paper. ‘ There’s no trading possible, I hope I’m clear.’

A few of his students nodded, he could see they were not happy with him pairing them up, but he didn’t care.

‘ Brooke.’ He said when he took the first name out of the box. ‘ You are pairing up with…’

Mister Conrad pulled a second name out of the box, Hailey crossed her fingers, hoping he would call her name, then she could do the project together with her best friend.

‘ Brooke, you are pairing up with Jessica.’ Mister Conrad continued.

Hailey was disappointed, now she had to do the project with someone else and she didn’t like that.

‘ Freddy and Kim.’ Mister Conrad said, continuing his pairing up and already pulling the next name out of the box. ‘ Hailey and …’

She held her breath, she was so nervous about who she was going to end up with.

‘ Tyler.’ Mister Conrad said.

He had Tyler’s attention after he paired him up with Hailey, Tyler had been thinking about his test, which he probably failed, but now mister Conrad had paired him up with Hailey to do a project, his day couldn’t possibly get any better.

Tyler thought Hailey was a beautiful girl, she was smart too and for him she was the biggest catch from high school. He could get any other girl, but he wanted her, he wanted Hailey.

‘ No sir, you can’t do that to me!’ Hailey shrieked. ‘ You can’t pair me up with Tyler, I will have to do all the work on my own.’

Hailey didn’t like Tyler, neither did she like his reputation, he was a popular boy and all the girls would give their live to spend time with him, but for some reason Hailey didn’t like the boy.

‘ Miss Edwards, I’m sure you’ll convince mister Adams to do something on the project.’ Mister Conrad replied before easily going on.

Hailey sighed. Why him? For God’s sake he could have picked any other person in the classroom and he picked Tyler Adams.

She knew he was a senior, that he only was in her biology class because he didn’t pass last year and that didn’t give her much hope for their project.

Tyler was a little bit stunned by Hailey’s outburst, what did he ever do to her that she didn’t want to do the project with him?

He was more than glad that he could do the project with her, he knew how smart she was and if they could do the project at her place, he defiantly wanted to put some effort in it.

Tyler would show Hailey that he was worth something, since she clearly thought he wasn’t, her outburst made that clear to him.

Mister Conrad just finished reading names when the bell did ring, school was out, it was weekend and Hailey couldn’t get out of the classroom soon enough.

She told Brooke that she’d meet her outside, she had to pick up something from her locker before they went home.

‘ So you are going to be my partner.’ She heard someone say from behind her.

She sighed, she knew it was Tyler and she wished he’d leave her alone.

‘ Any idea what our project can be about?’ She asked while she closed her locker and turned towards him.

‘ I didn’t really had the time to think about that.’ Tyler answered smiling. ‘ I only wanted to ask if you had plans for tonight.’

She was stunned, did this guy really have the guts to ask her out when she made it crystal clear that she didn’t like him?

‘ No, I have no plans.’ She answered politely. ‘ And if you don’t have plans either I suggest that we both go thinking about a subject for or project during the weekend.’

Tyler smirked. ‘ I actually wanted to ask you out. Have a chance to get to know each other before we start working on the project.’

‘ I’m sorry, I don’t date.’ She replied, planning to get this conversation over with. ‘ So if you want to excuse me now, Brooke is waiting for me.’

Tyler stopped her when she wanted to walk away. ‘ What do you mean with, I don’t date?’

‘ I mean that I don’t go out, with no one.’ Hailey answered, getting annoyed. Why wouldn’t this guy leave her alone? ‘ And even if I did date, I still wouldn’t go out with you.’

The smirk disappeared from Tyler’s face. ‘ Fine then, but can I get your number? Since we still have to do this project together.’

Hailey nodded and they exchanged their phone numbers. 

‘ In case you change your mind about going out with me, call me.’ Tyler said, the smirk back on his face.

Hailey looked at him with disbelief, the guy sure was self-confident and she had to admit he had guts.

He winked at her before he walked away, leaving her behind at her locker, where she stood for a few more minutes, taking the time to process what just happened.

Tyler had annoyed her, nevertheless she had to admit she felt a bit flattered and he was handsome too, especially his eyes, Hailey couldn’t believe she’d never noticed his eyes, they were beautiful oceanic blue.

Hailey took a deep breath and started to walk out of the school, still thinking about Tyler, still thinking that he was no good.

 

 

 

 

‘ How was school, sweetheart?’ Hailey’s mom asked when she came home. ‘ Did your test go well?’

‘ My test went fine.’ Hailey replied while she sat down at the kitchen table. ‘ School was ok too.’

‘ That doesn’t sound very convincing.’ Her mom said while she putted a glass of coke on the table. ‘ What did ruin your day?’

‘ Mister Conrad ruined my day.’ Hailey sighed before she took a sip from the glass.

‘ Your biology teacher?’ Her mom asked surprised. ‘ What did he do to ruin your day? You always tell me that he’s such a great teacher.’

‘ He didn’t do something wrong.’ Hailey replied. ‘ But we have to do a project for his class and he paired us up. I have to work on the project with Tyler Adams.’

‘ I’ll need a little more clarification, honey.’ Her mother said. ‘ Who is this Tyler and why is it this bad that you have to work with him?’

‘ He’s a senior, he only has biology in junior year because he didn’t pass biology last year.’ Hailey explained. ‘ And I don’t like the guy.’

‘ Why don’t you like him?’ Her mom asked. ‘ Do you even know anything about him, besides the fact that he follows biology in junior year?’

Hailey shook her head. ‘ I don’t know why I don’t like him mom. I’ve heard some things about him and from what I’ve heard he’s a jackass and a player.’

‘ Sweetheart, how many times do I have to tell you not to judge people by what you hear.’ Her mom sighed. ‘ Maybe he’s a nice guy, why don’t you get to know him better before you judge him.’

‘ I will mom, it’s not like I have another choice.’ Hailey replied smiling. ‘ I have to do this project with him, weather I like him or not.’

Her mom was right though, it wasn’t fair of her to judge Tyler by what she had heard, he deserved a fair chance, although he already screwed his first one up by asking her out.

‘ Your dad will be home in an hour.’ Her mom said. ‘ Dinner will be ready by then.’

‘ If you don’t mind I’m going to search a subject for our project.’ Hailey said. ‘ Call me when dad gets home.’

‘ I will.’ Her mom promised.

Hailey went upstairs to her room, where she opened up her laptop and sat down onto her bed with it.

 She opened Google and searched for biology projects, she found multiple options and wrote them down, she first had to discuss them with Tyler and she hoped he would have found some subject too.

She would kill him if she had to do this project on her own and she would make sure he’d get no credit for it.

After she found enough subjects she closed Google and started to play a game, she had to relax a bit too.

She was playing the game for ten minutes when her cell phone went off, she looked on the display who was calling her.

It was Tyler and she felt the urge to ignore the call, but she answered it anyway, like she said before, she had no choice, she had to do this project with him so she better could make this work.

‘ Hello?’ She said when she answered the phone.

‘ Hey stubborn person.’ Tyler replied. ‘ Still didn’t change your mind about tonight?’

‘ No I didn’t.’ She replied. ‘ And if you called to ask me that I’m hanging back up now.’

‘ No, Hailey wait.’ Tyler said. ‘ I’m sorry, don’t hang up on me.’

‘ I’m waiting.’ Hailey replied. ‘ Are you going to tell me something interesting?’

‘ I wanted to get together for our project.’ Tyler said. ‘ I have a few ideas and maybe we could brainstorm a bit.’

‘ When where you planning on working on our project?’ Hailey asked, glad he had some ideas.

‘ I was thinking about tomorrow.’ Tyler answered. ‘ If that’s ok with you.’

‘ Sure, can we do it at your place?’ Hailey asked.

Tyler hesitated, he thought it was too dangerous for Hailey to come over there, with his dad around.

‘ Is there any possibility that we can do it at your place?’ Tyler asked.

‘ My parents are home and if we work on our project here my mom will be watching us the whole time.’ Hailey replied. ‘ She will be checking if we aren’t doing anything else then working for school and I’d rather not have that.’

‘ Are you planning to do something else then?’ Tyler chuckled.

The chuckling was a bad idea, it made his stomach hurt, those stupid bruises where pretty painful on the moment.

‘ No, I wasn’t.’ Hailey answered, god he was annoying. ‘ So can I come to you?’

‘ Fine.’ Tyler sighed. ‘ But it has to be in the evening, we are doing some renovating and through the day there’s a lot of noise in here.’

‘ Deal, I’ll be there around 8, if that okay with you?’ Hailey replied.

‘ That’s ok for me.’ Tyler replied, relieved that she didn’t ask questions. ‘ I’ll see you tomorrow then.’

‘ Yep, bye.’ Hailey said before she broke the connection.

Tyler sighed, he had to lie to her, he couldn’t tell her that his dad was an alcoholic.

Now he only could hope that his father was gone by the time Hailey would arrive and he needed a backup plan in case his dad would come home.

He decided he would worry about that tomorrow, now he had to make diner for his dad.

Tyler had done groceries after school, there was plenty of food in the house again and he made his father’s favorite food.

He really didn’t need more beatings, his stomach still was aching from last night and it would take some time before the bruises would disappear.

No, tonight he would make his dad happy, he would give him no reason to get angry.

 

 

 

Tyler parked his car  in front of Hailey’s house, he called her again last night to ask if he should pick up her.

Since he never gave her his address, she agreed that he would pick her up if he would bring her back home when they finished working on their project.

It gave Tyler the time to clean up the house as soon that his dad left to the pub.

He managed to get the smell of beer out of the house, if Hailey would smell it, she would knew something wasn’t right.

He stepped out of the car and walked towards the front door, he just wanted to ring the doorbell when Hailey already opened it.

‘ Are you clairvoyant or something?’ Tyler asked surprised, he didn’t expect her to open the door this soon.

‘ No, I was waiting for you to pick me up.’ Hailey replied, while she stepped outside, her backpack already with her. ‘ I heard you pull over and I heard your car door, it was just coincidence that I opened the door when you wanted to ring the bell.’

‘ I see you are ready.’ Tyler said, already turning around. ‘ Let’s go.’

They walked to his red camaro together, he opened up the car door for her to let her in.

‘ Thank you.’ She said, while she stepped into his car and buckled up.

Tyler stepped into his car too, started it and they drove to his home.

He hoped his father wouldn’t be there, what if he had come home, he would be waiting for him, drunk?

Tyler told himself he didn’t need to think about that, his father wouldn’t be home and he had a backup plan in case he did come home, there was no need to worry.

‘ Are you nervous?’ Hailey asked, she had been observing Tyler while he was driving and he had some nervous habits she noticed.

‘ No, I’m not.’ Tyler lied smoothly. ‘ Why?’

Damn, the girl was noticing things fast, he didn’t expect her to ask if he was nervous, which he clearly was.

‘ You are drumming on the wheel with your fingers all the time.’ Hailey replied. ‘ I thought it was one of your nervous habits.’

‘ I always do that when I’m driving.’ Tyler answered.

‘ Yeah sure.’ Hailey said, not believing him.

‘ I’m serious, Hailey.’ Tyler replied while he parked his car on the driveway. ‘ But don’t believe me if you don’t want to.’

She smiled before she stepped out of the car, observing his house in detail.

From the outside it seemed beautiful and nice, but she was curious about the inside.

‘ Please, come in.’ Tyler said while he opened the front door and led her into the house.

Hailey followed him all the way into the kitchen before she dropped her backpack of her back.

She smelled something, she just didn’t know what it was exactly, trying to figure that out she sniffled a little, what made Tyler’s heart stop for a few seconds.

What the hell did she smell? Did she smell the arid beer?

‘ Lavender.’ Hailey stated. ‘ Your house smells like lavender.’

Tyler relaxed again, she only smelled the product he cleaned the house with , what made sure he did a good job cleaning.

‘ Our cleaning product has lavender sent.’ Tyler replied smiling. ‘ Do you want something to drink?’

‘ What do you have?’ Hailey asked, still standing in the middle of the kitchen. ‘ I’d like some coke if you have that.’

‘ You know you can sit down right?’ Tyler asked, while he opened up the fridge to take the coke. ‘ The chairs don’t bite around here.’

She chuckled, it didn’t matter how annoying he was, at least he had a sense for humor.

Hailey sat down on a kitchen chair while Tyler took two glasses that he filled with coke.

‘ Here you go.’ He said while he handed a glass to Hailey and sat down next to her.

‘ So what were the subjects that you were thinking about for our project?’ Hailey asked before she took a sip from her glass.

‘ Well since we’ve spend the most of the year learning about DNA and stuff I was thinking to do something with that.’ Tyler replied.

‘ And what exactly where you planning to do with it?’ Hailey asked, pretty surprised with the subject he came with. She didn’t think about something like it, the biggest thing she had on her list was making a fake volcano.

‘ I don’t know yet.’ Tyler answered. ‘ But I wasn’t really planning on thinking about something tonight.’

‘ Dude, you are not going to tell me I came all the way over here if you don’t want to work on the project.’ Hailey sighed. ‘ Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t feel like working on it?’

‘ A guy from our school is throwing a party and he invited me.’ Tyler replied. ‘ I want you to come with me.’

‘ I already told you, I don’t date.’ Hailey answered irritated. ‘ What don’t you get about that?’

‘ Who was saying it had to be a date?’ Tyler replied. ‘ It’s just going out, no date. Unless you want it to be a date.’

‘ I don’t want to go out.’ Hailey sighed. ‘ Bring me home and go alone.’

‘ So you don’t date or go out?’ Tyler smirked.

‘ I don’t date, but I do go out.’ Hailey replied. ‘ I’m only not going out with you, mister smart pants.’

‘ I’m asking for a chance here, Hailey.’ Tyler sighed. ‘ Please give me the chance to show you who I am.’

‘ I already know who you are.’ Hailey answered. ‘ You are Tyler Adams, you are a senior, you are first quarterback and team captain from our football team and I think you are a jackass.’

‘ That’s pretty shallow.’ Tyler replied. ‘ There’s a lot you don’t know about me Hailey Edwards.’

‘ And I’d like to keep it that way.’ She answered while she stood up from the chair and took her backpack. ‘ If you don’t bring me home now, I’ll walk home.’

‘ If you come with me I’ll do a lot of research about DNA by tomorrow.’ Tyler said. ‘ I promise you that.’

‘ You are really going to make an effort if I come with you?’ Hailey asked seriously.

‘ Are you coming with me?’ Tyler returned the question.

‘ I didn’t say I was coming with you, I was asking you if you would make an effort?’ Hailey asked again, God he could be annoying.

‘ I will, if you come with me.’ Tyler replied smiling. ‘ It’s your choice.’

‘ Fine, I’ll come with you.’ Hailey gave in. ‘ But if you don’t have a bunch of research by tomorrow, I’ll kick your ass this bad you won’t ever be able to forget about it.’

Tyler chuckled. ‘ Deal.’
 

 

From the moment they arrived at the party, Hailey regretted that she came along. She really didn’t know anyone there and Tyler seemed to know everybody.

Especially the girls came in bunches to greet him and didn’t mind to give Hailey an angry or jealous stare.

‘ Can I get you something to drink?’ Tyler asked when they finally got inside. ‘ A beer? Whine? Punch?’

‘ A coke is fine.’ Hailey replied. ‘ And you better take a coke too, since you are driving.’

‘ I don’t drink.’ Tyler smirked. ‘ I’ll be right back.’

He turned around and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Hailey by herself between a bunch of people she didn’t knew.

Her feet moved a little on the beat from the music, waiting until Tyler came back.

‘ Here you are.’ Tyler said while he handed her the coke.

‘ Thank you.’ Hailey replied. ‘ Who’s party is this?’

Tyler shrugged. ‘ Some guy from school who invited me. I don’t know his name.’

‘ You go to parties from people you don’t know?’ She asked amused. ‘ Then what’s the point from going if you don’t know the person in particular?’

‘ Having fun.’ Tyler answered smiling. ‘ This happens to me all the time, I open my locker and somebody putted an invite in it.’

‘ And you actually go every time you get invited?’ Hailey asked.

He nodded. ‘ Almost every time.’

Hailey shook her head. ‘ You are unbelievable.’

‘ Impressed?’ Tyler asked.

‘ A little.’ She admitted smiling.

‘ Do you want to dance?’ Tyler asked.

‘ I don’t dance.’ Hailey replied softly.

‘ Wow, that’s an original way to turn someone down.’ Tyler said sarcastically. 

‘ No, I mean I can’t dance.’ Hailey explained. ‘ Not that I don’t want to dance with you.’

‘ You can’t dance?’ Tyler asked stunned. ‘ How is it possible that you can’t dance?’

‘ The only thing I’m good at is stepping on my partners feet.’ Hailey answered softly, looking at the ground.

‘ I’ll teach you.’ He said while he took her hand. ‘ I don’t mind to get my toes crushed a few times.’

She blushed when her eyes met his oceanic blue ones, he was just about to pull her closer when a blond girl slapped her arm around his waist, making Hailey step back.

‘ Hi Tyler.’ The blond said.

‘ Hey,... you.’  Tyler replied surprised, he didn’t have a clue who the girl was.

‘ What are you doing here on your own?’ The blond asked, totally ignoring Hailey. ‘ Didn’t you bring a date?’

‘ Actually I brought Hailey as my companion.’ Tyler answered.

‘ Oh, you mean her.’ The girl said, giving a little nod towards Hailey. ‘ You can hang out with me and my friends if you want to, that might be a little more interesting.’

Hailey shook her head and walked away, what did that blond girl think? That he liked her? He didn’t seem to know who she was.

‘ Hailey.’ Tyler said, while he pushed the girl away and came after her.

She waited so he could catch up with her, a smile lingering around her lips.

‘ I’m sorry about that.’ Tyler said. ‘ I didn’t see that one coming.’

‘ It’s ok.’ Hailey chuckled. ‘ You didn’t even know who she was, did you?’

He shrugged. ‘ I had no idea.’

‘ I noticed.’ Hailey said, still chuckling.

‘ You think that’s funny?’ Tyler asked frowning.

‘ A little bit.’ She admitted.

He smirked and shook his head. 

‘ Do you want to play a game?’ Hailey asked.

‘ What game?’ Tyler returned the question.

‘ Truth or dare.’ She replied. ‘ If you want to.’

‘ Sure.’ Tyler said surprised. ‘ I didn’t knew you were in to that.’

‘ Well since I’m here now, I’ll better try to have some fun.’ Hailey answered while she sat down. ‘ You start. Truth or dare?’

‘ Truth.’ Tyler replied while he sat down next to her.

‘ How many people do you actually know in here?’ Hailey asked.

‘ Let me think.’ Tyler said. ‘ I think I know ten people that are here.’

‘ Ten out of the I don’t know how many that are here?’ Hailey asked. ‘ That isn’t much, is it?’

‘ No, but it’s my turn now.’ Tyler said. ‘ Truth or dare?’

‘ Truth.’ She replied.

‘ Why don’t you like me?’ He asked. ‘ What did I ever do wrong to you that you don’t like me?’

‘ I never said that I don’t like you.’ Hailey replied stunned.

How did he know that? Was is that obvious that she already  had her judgment about him?

‘ Just answer the question.’ Tyler sighed.

‘ I don’t know, I just didn’t like you.’ She replied, still trying to find a way to get him of off her back. ‘ I’m sorry, but you do have a reputation in school and I don’t really like the kind of reputation that you have.’

‘ What reputation?’ He asked, not knowing what she was talking about.

‘ The reputation of a player.’ Hailey answered quickly, just to get it over with. ‘ My turn, truth or dare?’

‘ Truth.’ He answered. ‘ But…’

‘ How many girlfriends did you have?’ Hailey interrupted him.

‘ Just one, Hailey.’ He answered stunned. ‘ Where the hell did that come from?’

‘ I just had the idea that you had one girl on each finger.’ She replied shrugging. ‘ It’s your turn.’

‘ No wait. First of all, I don’t have one girl on each finger. Second, even if I had, it wouldn’t mean that I’d date them all.’ Tyler said. ‘ I’ve had one girlfriend in my whole life, one serious relation that lasted for 3 years before she dumped me.’

‘ I don’t care, Tyler.’ Hailey replied. ‘ It’s your turn.’

‘ Yes, you do care!’ Tyler cried out. ‘ Otherwise you wouldn’t have asked me.’

She rolled her eyes, did he really have to make such a big deal out of this?

‘ For God’s sake Tyler, we are playing a game.’ Hailey replied. ‘ Get over it. It’s your turn.’

‘ Fine, truth or dare?’ He asked, trying to let the subject go.

‘ Dare.’ She replied. ‘ Make it a good one.’

He grinned. ‘ I dare you to love me.’

She felt how her jaw dropped, her eyes grew big from surprise.

‘ Excuse me?’ She whispered.

‘ I dare you to love me.’ He repeated, the grin still steady on his face.

‘ What the hell Tyler?!’ She cried out, her eyed filled itself with tears and she had to clear her troth in order to talk. ‘ I just told you  that I don’t like you and now you are daring me to love you! Don’t you have any brains in that head of yours?!’

He shrugged. ‘ It’s just a game, Hailey.’

‘ You are just an asshole.’ She said before she turned around and ran away from him.

‘ Hailey!’ He shouted while going after her. ‘ Wait, I didn’t mean it like that!’

She pretended that she didn’t hear him, she continued running and on Monday she would ask mister Conrad for another partner, he had to make an exception in this case.

‘ Hailey!’ Tyler called out again, he was catching up with her and on that moment he was grateful that he was a fast runner.

Once outside he managed to grab her arm, what stopped her from running but now she tried to pull herself lose.

‘ Let go of me!’ She hissed. ‘ I’m going home.’

‘ You are going to walk all the way home?’ Tyler asked, trying to stay calm. ‘ If you want to go home I can just as well drive you.’

‘ I want to get away from you!’ She snarled. ‘ If that wasn’t obvious!’

‘ Hailey.’ He sighed. ‘ You asked for a good dare, I gave you one. You don’t have to be so upset about this.’

‘ I’m not upset.’ She hissed. ‘ I’m angry.’

He raised his eyebrow. ‘ You look upset to me.’

‘ I’m not, now let go of me.’ She replied, still trying to free herself from his grip.

He shook his head. ‘ No.’

‘ Seriously Tyler, let go of me!’ She hissed. ‘ I don’t want to see you anymore!’

‘ Too bad for you.’ He replied. ‘ Hailey come on, I didn’t do anything wrong.’

‘ You took me here against my will and now you won’t let me go.’ She hissed. ‘ There’s pretty much wrong with that!’

‘ I didn’t take you here against your will!’ He snarled, now he was getting mad to. ‘ Is it my fault that you don’t go out or date? Is it my fault that you barely have a social life? I tried to have a good time, Hailey, I tried to give you a good time. But you are no fun at all!’

‘ You want me to be fun?’ She asked mad, while she freed herself from his grip. ‘ Fine, I’ll be fun!’

She ran back into the house, with Tyler on her heels and took the first cup filled with beer she found and drank it all at once.

‘ Is this fun enough for you?’ She asked pissed while she already took a second cup and downed it immediately.

She wasn’t used to it, drinking alcohol and she felt how it was taking over her common sense, but she didn’t want to back down, not in front of Tyler.

‘ You don’t have to get wasted, Hailey.’ He snarled when he saw her downing the third cup with beer. ‘ Jesus, why did I even bring you with me.’

She sighed and took the fourth cup with beer, she already was pretty wasted but she still was angry with Tyler and she would do anything to annoy him.

‘ If you don’t stop now, you are going to get sick.’ He warned her. ‘ And if you throw up in my car, you are going to clean it up yourself.’

‘ I don’t need a ride from you.’ She snarled. ‘ I’ll walk home.’

Then she turned around, planning on walking away from him but he stopped her.

‘ Don’t be so ridiculous.’ He said with a hard voice. ‘ If you continue drinking like this, you’ll be barely able to stand on your two feet.’

‘ Screw you.’ She hissed, trying to free herself from his grip again.

‘ Is this guy bothering you?’ Some guy asked. He was taller than Tyler and he had a friend by his side that was taller too.

‘ Yes, he is.’ Hailey said while she pulled herself lose and started to walk away again.

‘ Hailey!’ Tyler cried out, trying to go after her.

He got stopped by the two guys, who stood in front of him, Hailey walked away freely, without anyone coming after her, picking up another cup with beer on her way outside.

‘ Bye Tyler, Bye Tyler.’ She sang softly while she walked through the backyard, sipping on her sixth cup of beer.

The alcohol had made her thoughts fuzzy and weird enough, she didn’t mind at all, her thoughts could be fuzzy, she felt so peaceful on that moment.

She smiled when her favorite song started playing, she downed the rest of her cup and climbed on a table where she started dancing.

‘ No fun? I think this is pretty much fun.’ She said to herself while she moved her hips on the beat.

It didn’t take long before other people stood around the table, cheering at her, handing her more beer, which she drank with much pleasure.

The bystanders looked at her, cheered at her and she had an amazing time until she missed a step and tripped over her own feet.

Hailey really expected to land on the ground, she already prepared herself for the smack that was undeniably coming but instead she felt a pair of arms catching her, holding her close.

‘ Tyler?’ She asked stunned when she opened her eyes again, looking at the boy who rescued her from smacking on the ground.

‘ Yep it’s me and you obviously are drunk.’ He replied while he started to walk around the house, Hailey still in his arms. ‘ I’m bringing you home. But if you throw up in my car you are cleaning it yourself.’

‘ Thank you.’ She whispered.

‘ You are welcome.’ He said while he putted her back down on the ground and opened up the car door. ‘ Get in.’

‘ What happened with your nose?’ Hailey asked when she saw the fresh trace of blood underneath it.

She tried to clean it up with her finger, what made Tyler pull away out of pain.

‘ I’m sorry, did I hurt you?’ She asked.

‘ A little.’ He said. ‘ And I got this from your friends who you told that I was bothering you.’

‘ Did they punch you?’ She asked stunned. ‘ Tyler, I never expected that they would punch you in the face.’

‘ It’s ok, Hailey.’ He said, while gently pushing her into the car. ‘ They punched me when I wanted to come after you. I’m not blaming you for this.’

He closed the car door when Hailey was in the car, he walked around the car and stepped in himself.

‘ I’m really sorry about your nose, Tyler.’ Hailey said when they were driving. ‘ I never should have told them you where bothering me.’

He shrugged. ‘ It doesn’t matter Hailey. It’s ok.’

‘ No it’s not.’ She sighed. ‘ I shouldn’t have acted that way.’

‘ Hailey.’ He said while he grabbed her hand and softly squeezed it. ‘ As long that you don’t throw up in my car, it’s ok.’

She chuckled. ‘ I’m not feeling sick, only a bit fuzzy.’

‘ That’s the beer.’ Tyler replied smiling. ‘ Why did you even drink if you can’t handle it?’

‘ I didn’t know I could handle it this bad.’ She confessed. ‘ I’m not used to drink, normally I don’t.’

‘ Then why did you do it now?’ Tyler asked while he turned into her street.

‘ Because you said that I was no fun.’ She sighed. ‘ I wanted to prove you wrong.’

‘ Not the smartest way to show me, is it?’ Tyler said while he parked the car in front of Hailey’s house. ‘ You know that I didn’t mean that, right? That you were no fun.’

She shrugged, not looking at him while he stepped out the car.

‘ You did think I meant it.’ He said while he helped her out of the car and closed the door again.

‘ Yes, I thought you meant it.’ She replied softly before she walked towards the front door.

‘ Hailey.’ He sighed while he followed her to the front door. ‘ I was mad at that moment.’

‘ I know, but still.’ She said. ‘ I was wrong.’

He smiled. ‘ You are actually pretty cute when you are drunk.’

‘ And you actually still look stunning, even with the blood underneath your nose.’ Hailey replied while she tried to clean it up again. ‘ Does it still hurt?’

‘ A little.’ Tyler said. ‘ But since when do you think I’m stunning?’

‘ I’m just saying stuff that I don’t mean.’ Hailey replied. ‘ I’m drunk, remember.’

‘ Drunk people usually tell the truth.’ Tyler smirked.

Hailey’s cheeks flashed red when he said that, she told him to much.

He chuckled. ‘ I’ll pretend like I never heard it.’

‘ You know, about the dare you gave me.’ She started. ‘ Let’s try it.’

‘ What do you mean?’ He asked.

She took a step closer towards him and caressed his cheek. ‘ Kiss me.’

He was stunned, did she really just asked that?

‘ Hailey, we shouldn’t do that.’ He said while he took a step back.

‘ Why not?’ She asked confused.

‘ Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very attempting offer but you are drunk and I don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret later.’ Tyler answered. ‘ I’m going home now, goodnight Hailey.’

‘ Goodnight.’ She whispered amazed. Maybe he wasn’t that bad after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

0
0 0 0

Having Kittens

We drowned the litter 
in a black bag by the
river never forgetting to 
feed each one milk.

It tugged at your fingers
purring as the white nectar
squeezed out from a bottle
landed on each small wet tongue.

We’d met one week one summer
there and then moved in together
greeted by chubby Mother moulting
by the empty fireplace.

Then came the Autumn that nipped at our heels,
feeding us bone soup and canned dog food.
The days and our cash were short.

That Christmas Day we ate our last supper in toast of 
the year’s survival; rice, peas, red wine;
whilst Mother screamed wrenching five 
out of her five covered in blood, mucus, miracles.

You blew the last cash on a pair of blunt scissors
and I sweeped your hair into the fire. Mother was stiff
her fur damp with the spit of her five furless spawn
mewing and licking at the dry lumps on her chest.

After, you’d leave me there to watch the bubbles
rise then stop, thinking the days were never
long enough the nights were never 
fast enough the water never 
deep enough for me the day 
we drowned the litter in a black bag
by the river.

1
0 0 0

Leaving

Her shoes rest by the door, waiting for her to silently slip her feet into them. The floorboards creak as she slides out of the bed, looking over her shoulder at his sleeping frame. He looks so peaceful, but she can’t stay any longer than she has. 
She tiptoes past the records hanging on the walls, and shuts the bathroom door before turning on the light. 
In expo marker on the mirror, she writes him a message: “I’ll give you all my time, but not my love. I’m going to miss you when I’m gone. I hope you’ll miss me too.”
She throws her hair up into a bun, and turns the light off. 
The door hinges squeak slightly when she opens the door, but she can see him still sleeping in the dim light. 
She goes into his room, and picks up a tee shirt- his, one of his band tees- and walks to the door. 
She pauses, and surveys the scene behind her. The small kitchen sink with her cup still in it from the day before, the couch sitting in front of a tv, next to the door leading to the balcony, and beyond that, the sun slowly rising over the city. 
She sighs, and slips her feet into the waiting shoes. 
“Goodbye.” She whispers to the apartment, and the sleeping form one room over. 
She unlocks the door, takes one last, longing glance, and shuts it behind her.
The elevator seems to take forever to arrive, and each moment she is anticipating being caught. 
The doors open on the bottom floor, and she jogs outside the building and around the corner.
She sits down under the street light, and calls a cab.
“What’s a beautiful girl like you doing at this time of morning, alone?” The cabbie asks when she gets in. 
“Leaving.” She replies.
“The airport it is.”
The drive is agony, the lines inside the terminal worse, and when she finally steps foot on the plane, there is a hole in her heart that only time can repair.