the tall man in the corner has his eyes on me,
his top lip is fuller than his bottom lip
and I bet he kisses like a lightning storm in August;
he's going to ask me to take a road trip,
down into the mesa; a saturn-ring on earth,
to make love to me on the hood of his Olds
under a killing moon; with a wolf's devour hunger,
madly; until his stamina no longer holds.
I can already feel the hum of the engine trembling my thighs
and maybe I have no control; he's already coming my way;
this shouldn't be happening, he's immune,
or maybe he's Another, too; an original make, like me;
but, I know that when he's spent
he'll put me away; out in the mesa-galaxy vast
so, I need to walk away now
and walk away fast.
my lungs are heaving like dusty, dry trees
inhaling and exhaling red and orange and brown leaves;
his scent is high on my cheeks, he smells like the sea,
a great churning whirlpool rampage;
my heart is sputtering a whispering lay,
like a beautiful tragedy's mating call
terror steps are pacing my hasty retreat,
and my back is grazing the wall.
he smiles; like the archangel of sex and death,
speaks in my mind low,
"Sweetness, I know that you know,"
there is room for only one on the pedestal
in the middle of the lake; between the platinum pillars,
and his mind has seen that space below the beam
we all have the burning to bathe in its sheen,
to glow on the pulpit of creation's dream.
he bends at the knees and slides one between my legs;
drops a palm at my hip and tangles the other in my hair,
my skin sighs into his capture; screams to be throttled all over,
but, fear is stomping down my throat
grinding a fever into my gut; a snapping slap
to my psychosomatic grip
my stasis-mechanism lets go wildly
and bucks into a crackling whip.
every head turns at once; eager to obey,
and his winged-grin fades just before I say,
"Help me, please. Don't let him get away."
he understands fully now and tries hard to fight;
looks the first in the eye and screams at him to stop,
but, they are all mine and this tall man will not survive
"You can't control them without their eyes, it doesn't work that way!"
he doesn't seem to realize what I'll do to stay alive.
and as they press in upon him, ripping his life to shreds,
these guarding soldiers; mindless drones,
caught in the thrall of my tethering pull;
he gives in with a grunt then laughs silent like a mime,
looks at me calmly and says,
"You are the evolution, girl; don't expect to be free.
I don't know what waits for you in the Beam
but, when it's done, you'll be resting here with me."
and as his brilliance pours into the cracks
of the hardwood floor in this small-town bar,
his words reverberate in the air;
charging electric pulses on my eyelashes
and I see ultramarine depths at their tips,
the men come to sit like dogs at my feet
and they leave sanguine skid marks as they clamber
to follow me as I step out on the street.
"Stay!" I bellow and they do so with disappointed faces;
but, I haven't got a minute to waste,
there are others like him, like me
all racing to the source; that holy triforce shining,
like diamonds and ivory in a sapphire rest;
stoic and steady, brutal in their quest
I am still clouded by frustration and trepidation;
yet, I am thrilled by this ultimate test.
I can no longer remember anything from before,
my past blew away on a gale force swarm;
sometimes I can taste memories, but I spit them away;
there's no room for nostalgia and regret,
weakness is the final mistake;
and I have worlds to travel with this mind
there is no give with my take; guilt is for the common,
for the bleating sheep leading the blind.
lands are dripping into the background;
I am crossing lines and plots as days,
there is Another within my reach,
she hears me coming in her fingers; ready to meet,
when I open the door and walk inside
there is a sudden freeze
time is standing still in this dive;
this old woman speaks in threes.
she is withered and papery; an ancient power
and I wonder at the strength in numbers,
the significance of age and war;
she is idly murmuring in code,
but, I can see her intent in the back of my eyes;
she is poison to the touch; asp grey
an eater of beating rhythm,
a ghosting touch to prey.
"You took him, with no sight to hold."
she sang in a smoke-stained voice;
"He fed you the heat, but you fed him defeat."
I begin to dance in wide arches, then;
"Your lover was the first soldier
to become an Older."
I am spinning gracefully between the time-still bodies;
closer and closer, as the woman's song grows colder.
"You can't remember him, can you?
Still, these words hold true."
swaying toward my death, I can not deny;
"The lake holds no love, only chaos from above."
my blood is slowing now;
this waltz is cresting in shade; so near
jerking short, I clear my throat and sing
in steely riffs of how I wish you were here.
the old woman dips; falls to the tiled floor,
my soprano vibrato rises, fills the walls like sand;
climbs from ground to ceiling with drowning cadence,
enchanting her veins to retire; lulling her lips to sag
"You have stolen misery from this old hag", she squeaked;
and then I bedded her with a deftone change, in the house of flies
"They took you two together, you'll find him again." she mouthed,
"He won't be the same, though, no matter how hard he tries."
I want to grind her into ash, sing her into dust;
blow her away in a jet stream gust,
watch her banshee soul float into the blue;
venom and fury are shaping my journey,
my way of thinking now
and I do not mourn the loss of my humanity
those chinks in my armor are closing
and this purpose is sharpening my sanity.
I don't want to think about him,
he is from before; a past passed,
but, as I set to the path I will tread,
there is a flash of green'd bronze on my lids;
almond-shaped ammonite illusion;
pierced with a mirrored black light
and now across the stars, I see his face,
and he's speaking to me through the night.