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Maybe Someday

There are nights when I sit up
wondering if things will always end this way.
I’ve spent years in the beds of men
who didn’t deserve my body
and never cared for my mind
or the thoughts that ran through it
as their fingers ran through my hair
and I refuse to waste another day
being treated like a falling star when
I was born to burn like the sun.
I am more than a temporary fix for
your lonely days,
I am more than the heart, bleeding
on my sleeve.
I am the clouds in a stormy sky
and goddamn it, someday
this rain will clear up and the darkness
raging through me will evaporate
into the most beautiful rainbow
your sorry eyes have ever seen.
Maybe someday someone will come
along who doesn’t dull
the color radiating through my
veins.
Maybe someday someone will come
along who knows what love
means.
Maybe someday.

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And when you look back
On everything in your life
Will you remember
When I was a child
That I trusted you?
Will you remember
That I loved you?
Will you finally admit
That you made a grave mistake?
Will you feel remorse?
Or will you deny
The things you have done
With your dying breath?

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Lovers

I just came here for a quiet drink,
It’s not my fault I’m the same size and shape 
as a punching bag.

I just came here for a quiet drink, 
it’s not my fault I’m the same size and shape 
as your mother, 
or that you always wanted to 
kiss her,
or that you were always afraid of 
your father. 

I just came here to drink, 
so leave me alone. 

I felt wrong ever since someone told me
it all gets better from here,
and I was taught to be a lover, not a fighter
but I misread and learned to fight with my lovers. 

I just came here for a drink,
I can’t help it I’m the same size and shape
as a football,
and you were kicked around a lot 
in high school,
poor soul. 

You survived so well,
poor soul.
You’ve been through hell, 
poor soul. 
Don’t let them tell you you’re not whole,
poor soul. 
But is this really what you want,
sympathy and lager on tap?
I think it’s time to man up, 
and I’d tell you it all gets better from here
poor soul. 

But I just came here to drink, 
so leave me alone. 

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expressing welcome

Rusty metal bridge and an angry running stream show life beginning to thaw
The cold bitterness is breaking to saturate the pores of the land and give way to a movement seemingly going forward …. All the while a single ponder
In which the search for influence , a mental stimulant , a convincing factor 
stating that it is okay to be here and to move forward as well.

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Love Cries

Love was a boy who I saw smile

He cut through my darkness like a ray of sunshine

He illuminate all I thought was lost,

And helped me learn to ignore my demons

 

I couldn't see how he hurt 

He soaked up sadness like a dry sponge,

And darkness consumed him

He was being eaten alive

 

He looks like the love he will never feel

He drinks his own blood from a cup 

Crafted from the lies of those who said they loved him,

But the more he is filled, the greater the void in his soul

 

His eyes that once shone with mystery

Now only prove broken misery

And the once romantic idea of love

Is replaced by the sorrowful sadness

Of a love that would not be loved 

 

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At yonder poetry

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Something made

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Late Afternoon In Early March

I sometimes forget to be fascinated

by the slanting glance of the late afternoon sun

whispering into my cramped backyard.

The jays and robins are discussing something

with great deliberation while the leaves shiver

in the tentative mid-March breeze.

They flutter, fly and flee with such

confidence, such grace, without effort

or trepidation, without grasping at the sky,

knowing it will hold and carry them.

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The Falsity of Touching

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brought to bay

A nightmare -
slash and burn
and public executions
the colosseum walls broken
spilling a thirsty flood
onto satellites 
the berserker roars of 
encore encore!
the fat lady singing
but no one hears
no one hears
with ear drums burst -
Let me wake now
I want to be awakened by song 

shhh…