1
1 0 1

You are my Johnny

I, your June

I saw you first for the dark you wore
and the strings you played

You saw my smile and the voice

We are young, and sometimes we lay in

bed naked,

You place your guitar and I hum along
To your blues.

 

I love to watch your fingers dance
Over frets

As my ribs rise and fall in time

In time
In time
We sing,
In time...  

Overall

this piece is just lovely. i especially love the first stanza. is this written as lyrics for a song? i say that because you captured the essence of blues. This reminds me of "Me and Bobby McGee" of Janis Joplin. The only thing I find that needs more work is the line "and sometimes we lay in bed naked" I wish you could have delved deeper into that imagery and tease the reader more. also,i feel that the flow of that line is a bit off. my humble suggestion is you could have cut it this way: "and sometimes we lay/ in bed/ naked" or "and sometimes we lay/ in bed naked," other than that, this piece is just beautiful" :)