I'll start by saying that I haven't seen the film clip or even heard the song that inspired this piece, and quite frankly, I don't want to — that's partly out of a fear that this story isn't as original as it feels to me right now, and partly because this is such an intriguing piece of fiction that combining and attaching it to other media would lessen its impact on me. So this review is based on having no knowledge of Sigur Ros. This review is also covering both parts of this story.
There is a lot to love about this story. I especially like the way you describe people with just a few of their attributes and leave the rest to be filled out by my imagination. And I love the trance-like, almost emotionless state of the narrator's telling. At first, the narrator's seemingly deadpan reaction to some pretty horrific events felt out of place, but once I reached the end and applied the narrator at the end to the rest of the story, it was a stroke of brilliance.
I couldn't tell for certain whether the very short length of your phrases is a stylistic choice in this piece, so I went and read some of your other prose and found that it does seem to be a trait of this. For the most part, the short sentences worked very well and it added to that sense of "something not quite right" I felt about the narrator while reading the first part.
However, there were some areas where the short phrasing was more of a hindrance than a help to the manufactured jerkiness of the flow. One of those areas is your use of dialogue tags.
It improved a lot in part 2, but in part one, there was quite a bit of "said X", "X said", "I asked", "he said". The first type was the worst for mine. "Said Foster", "Said the hitchhiker", "Said the officer". Dialogue tags are supposed to blur into the background of stories, and studies have shown that when they're effectively used, readers can't even remember them being there. A lot of the time when you're using dialogue tags, you're using them simply to tag who is speaking. Literally. There is no continuation of descriptive action or mention of tone or anything apart from a label for the speaker.
In your story, you juggle characters well and you don't have many, so there isn't really a great need to tag the speakers so obviously. I know it's a small gripe, but I felt the need to mention it because I noticed it when I was reading without any intention to review. It's just something to consider.
“Evening boys,” the officer leaned toward the car window. “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
The other area where the succinctness of phrases caused problems came in cases where it stopped sounding like emotionless description and started sounding like a list of bullet points. An example of this problem, as I see it, is in the first paragraph of part 2. It feels like a set of instructions in a screenplay more than a narrated story. I was able to get through without really noticing it on my first read through, though, and picked this up as an identifiable area when I started to review.
There's a few grammatical anomalies in both pieces — eg., a strangely placed comma before "until" in the last line of part 2, a strange, narrated piece of dialoge "I told him yes, I supposed we were." — but I can tell that you would find these yourself when going over the piece with an eye to review; you have great control over the rules of language.
The last points I'll make are about a few weird issues with tenses. This story is told from the first person in past tense, but in this second half, you foreshadow things that the narrator now knows. You talk of ifs and maybes with Heiko, but later, in the same tense, you reveal that Heiko was in the fire and then gone and you know that Heiko's sister was not near the fire:
Maybe Heiko had found his sister and they were celebrating. ...
Maybe it was Heiko’s sister, the one who lived near here. I hadn’t seen Heiko since he ran into the woods. ...
I made out the shapes of three slender dogs circling it and in the middle, tied to a post, was Heiko, burned and sweating, exhausted from screaming, with a bright yellow ribbon stuffed into his mouth.
With the way I believe this story is being recalled, those first couple of lines could maybe be altered to better reflect that it's what the narrator is thinking, more than what the narrator knew. I hope that makes sense, I find it hard to explain now that I have begun.
So there we have it. I really enjoyed this piece of fiction. It has left me with a lot of questions but I still don't want to watch the film clip that inspired it because you have painted some vivid images in my mind. The things I have noted in this review I have noted because I was reviewing; it doesn't matter what it is, there is always room for improvement. This is a great piece and I hope my thoughts make a lick of sense to you. I'll look forward to more of your work.