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Nightmare

i found myself

with bits of skin beneath my fingernails

knees pressing into couch cushions

curled up fetal position

star-visioned

 

tears turning to acid

i've cried too much - i need to stop

writing a letter without mentioning love

but seeing my emotions watermarking the page

this is my nightmare

 

three pills in my hand

smooth rough smooth

bulbous elliptical flat

 

falling in love - falling into a fitful sleep

falling into the place I miss most

staring impossibility in his eyes

a feral cat sized as wolf lunges

slashing open my chest

 

there are bits of skin beneath my fingernails

i am lucid in my nightmare

pressing my knees into the chest of my friend

nudging me every so often to be sure i'm still alive

curled up fetal position heavy lidded vision

 

this is my nightmare

in the house of my family lost years ago

running down an extending hallway

master bedroom - master bathroom

door locked behind me

bits of skin beneath my fimgernails

disappointment heavy shoulders

sand dollar scabs bloom on my mirrored face

 

this is my nightmare

waking down asleep

falling up gasping on the floor

pain spreading  - chest caving

i crawl into my bed anxiety soaked

cocooned in comforter - pressing back into wall

pretending wall is alive - taking comfort in that

 

but there are still o - positive stains on my face

this is my nightmare

i am glass eyed anthropomorphic iceberg

red handed with bits of my own skin

beneath my fingernails

fresh lattices on my back

angry nerves babbling insanity 

to my unresponsive brain

 

a shadow crashes into me

plunges into my chest

i kick into consciousness

i find myself with bits

of my own skin beneath my fingernails

cold wall behind me

this is my nightmare

Overall

I love this poem because of a couple of reasons- well two to be exact.

1. your repetitive use of the phrase "this is my nightmare" - it transports a person into a state where you are seeing what the narrator is seeing- thus giving the poem a very personal touch.

2.it is well written . You could also edit the typo on the 6th line in the 6th stanza, you were aiming for fingernails but it's "fimgernails.

I loved this, write some more.