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men at the wall held the fruit,
children in the moat begged,
fire climbed the mountains,
horses drowned in the rain,
crows called home,
no one ever left.


 i think you are in a great start but as a reader, I am having difficulty on grasping what you are really trying to share or show from this piece. from what i read from this piece, there are at least three themes and i am having difficulty connecting them with one another. if you have explored more, show/tell the story and inspiration, and the thoughts running through your mind while you were writing this, i think the reader would not be put in a guessing game by reading this. i hope you improve this since it is such a great start. good luck. :)