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please stay

 

like oxygen to fire

sun to the earth

life to the heart

 

I will be consumed by your absence

 

stay

and make me your home

Overall



I agree with the anonymous reviewer. Your poem, in so few words, states the essence of what it is to want someone who wants to leave. The despair of being rejected by someone with whom you've spent intimate moments is a painful reality for most everyone at some point in their life. This is a piece I think most people can relate to. You've captured it with simple metaphors that portray the magnitude of the potential loss.


Overall

Goodness me, the simplicity of this piece is just beautiful <3

The metaphor triple of Fire, Earth and Heart sums up in no uncertain terms how strong and important your message is. The finish - "make me your home" - just drives the point home.

I love this. powerful and overflowing with words that do not have to be said <3