depths | Inkstained

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The most depressing part of my day occurs when I’m doing something that I love to do.

Every day I stumble across something new musically. Through the aid of Pandora, blogs, news, hearsay & my due diligence in finding what I need to keep going, I am constantly surprised by the quality of certain tracks and their beauty.

So what’s the problem? I’m constantly finding little gems hidden throughout society. I understand this is subjective, but I’d like to think I have enough experience to be able to pick out melodically sound compositions & above average production value. Whether that is true is not for me to say but I try my best. Regardless, the key word here is “hidden.”

Once a night I am intrigued to learn about an artist. Or even just the song itself. I’m mesmerized by what they did & how they put together this piece of art. So I go searching. Most of the time I can find something on the artist or the track. Random songs do not get submitted to Pandora without a bit of screening.

For the times I don’t find much on them, I continue to dig further. I check Discogs for information about what they have done. Once in a while I will stumble across a Wikipedia page about the artist. One with no links or any information about the individual(s) that created this work. Vague references to what they’ve done. Maybe a 100x100 thumbnail of the album artwork from 2001.

It pains me to hear something that strikes such an intense chord and then fail to find more information about it. Did this go overlooked? Is it just me who enjoys this? Why didn’t this get bigger than it did? Was it ahead of its time? Was it too late for its time?

I want to find these people, physically shake them with my hands and tell them, “You are amazing. You are amazing at what you do. I am so sorry.”

And yet, I have to turn on the radio and listen to the same 20 songs on rotation for weeks. And weeks.

I know this will come off as condescending even when I don’t mean it to be. I just wish that people could open their eyes to the wonders that are out there. I wish they could see what others have seen. I wish people would stop letting music be delivered to them aimlessly, but rather help the cause and find it yourself. I would even say that I wish that everyone cared more, but this is naturally a false hope that cannot & should not be enforced. The joy it brings me is overwhelming and I just want to share it.

Moral of the story: If I have to fucking hear “Starships” one more time by Nicki Minaj, I’m going to drink bleach.


I'm struggling here. I know exactly the feeling you've described here. Your piece reaches me and your writing resonates with me, and yet -- no. I'm not going to attempt to force my own personal hierarchy of prose preference on someone else, but I will tell you a story.

For several years I struggled. I had a blog, yet I refused to call myself a blogger. I had plenty of ideas (some of which still exist only as such) that I could've written and posted, could've dashed off just as this. But in my mind, they were just raw impressions -- ideas not yet whole enough to be a piece of writing. I'd say derisively "that's too bloggy-blog," and sit on it until I had a more universal application, something bigger I could say beyond my own thoughts and experiences. I wouldn't write something until I was convinced I'd connected an observation or experience to a feeling beyond my own thoughts in my own mind. I didn't want a blog. I didn't want a few people hanging on every thought I happened to share about the random shit I did throughout the day. I wanted to communicate something broader than that. Blogs have their place, and their place is, well, on the internet, on a blog. A writer should aim further, and for this reason, I don't waste too much of my time on writing things that were bloggy-blog.

This piece is bloggy-blog.

What you're looking for here, if you intend this to be a piece of Writing, is a personal essay -- but this doesn't quite hit those notes. You have a keen grasp of grammar, syntax, punctuation, all that -- you're a technically proficient writer. What this lacks is the ability to connect with anyone who hasn't thought the same as you, of which, following the substance of your piece, there are very few. What it does, instead, is alienate millions of Nicki Minaj fans. I'm being flippant, but you have to find some way to connect this micro-observation to the larger whole of human existence if you expect people to think beyond this tiny box. If you wish to encourage others to seek out new music (and it seems clear you do), you have to find some way to connect that to something else that they do as a matter of course.

I can't do that for you.

This is a wonderful observation, a great seed of something you could develop into potentially ground-breaking understanding about the workings of society and humanity. Keep it; let it grow into something before you share it. Especially don't give it to me -- personal essays are my specialty.

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