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Donnybrook ~ a Glossa

Donnybrook

 

“except the heaven had come so near – so seemed to choose my door

the distance would not haunt me so – I had not hoped – before

but just to hear the Grace depart – I never thought to see

afflicts me with a double loss – tis lost – and lost to me”

                                                      “472” Emily Dickinson

 

born flesh and bone to nouveau world to loving arms embraced

a bonny boy reservations yowled – screaming at the cold

enwrapped in love and swaddling clothes - my lips on Mother’s breast

I drank her deep inside of me to ease my hungry ache

then, needs were simple, I recall, and more than amply met

I did not know it called love then or know I was adored

hale and hearty, rightly raised, untried, but scarce untrue

grew up strong, knew naught of God, no faith me yet imbued

I knew Him not, but knew His name and would not know him more

“Except the heaven had come so near – so seemed to choose my door”

 

we tend to love whom those we love, love, and hate whom they abhor

my mother’s love was soft on me…no more could I desire

throughout this care and growing groans, a void in me I sensed

I lacked for nothing in my life, not chattels, pride or place

My father groomed his little man - taught responsibility

though really lacking cause to feel that I lacked something more

Teutonic father never showed his warm and fuzzy side

‘twas from my mother that I learned the workings of a soul,

with loving whispers in my ear, she answered, I implored

 “the distance would not haunt me so – I had not hoped – before”

 

encouraged to pursue my lack, I read upon the Word

front to back and back to front; said prayers I feel were heard

for once, I felt completely filled and followed rightfully

imagining it all said and done, but I, naïve and young

it’s never hard to do what’s right when choices for us made

all made sense without pretense, ‘til life brought puberty

then, overnight, or so it seemed, my flesh, once fallow, flamed

my body was a battleground between two armies crushed

my life/train on divergent rails, or so it seemed to me

“but just to hear the Grace depart – I never thought to see”

 

then from the blue - epiphany, seen crystal clear by me

tis not in word alone we serve, but sacrifice and deed

the weight of all the scripture came like chickens home to roost

of all the sad sacks I had rued – well - one of them was me

my spirit’s more than willing, but, alas, my flesh is weak

it always seems in fettle fine and fights formidably

I’m older now and, still, desires won’t whimper, bow or break

And sadly (if I must admit), it is a daily ache

If I should deign to let God reign – fight ineffectually

“Afflicts me with a double loss – tis lost – and lost to me”